OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize