As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize