at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
