plz talk dirty to me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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