The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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