OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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