Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
