I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
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he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
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You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."