So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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