Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.