oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.