You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
