how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize