they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
