There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
