I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
