Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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