may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
