somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
