I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
