direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just gift wrapped bread.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
