Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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