Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I am one with the molecules
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
