FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
