No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
