Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
