we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
