I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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