Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
