Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize