so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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