remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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