He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
