How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
