no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
