I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
