This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
