Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
