I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
