I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
