Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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