I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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