Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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