im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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