Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
