My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
