your thong is hanging out like whoa
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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