thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
