Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
