Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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