Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
