its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Fuck appropriateness.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
