Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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