I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
