If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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