oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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