just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
