I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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