You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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