Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
