i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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