and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
