first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
