Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
