Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
