I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
