I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
