The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
