I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
