Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
