I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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